Moshe had invested 40 years of his life towards one goal: leading
Bnei Yisrael from Egypt to Eretz Yisrael.
And he is finally on the cusp of making that dream a reality, when the
tribes of Gad & Reuven approach him with a request: They do not want to
cross over into Eretz Yisrael. They wish to stay on the Eastern bank of the
Jordan River.
And after Moshe Rabbeinu responds with disbelief that they would
even consider leaving the rest of Am Yisrael on their own and not entering the
land, they tell Moshe, don’t worry, we’re not abandoning everyone else:
גִּדְרֹת צֹאן נִבְנֶה לְמִקְנֵנוּ פֹּה וְעָרִים לְטַפֵּנוּ:
We will build pens for our sheep, and cities for our
children.
We will then head into battle with the rest of Am Yisrael, assist
in the conquest of Eretz Yisrael, and only then will we come back to our
families.
And Moshe accepts their offer, but he offers them one more piece of
instruction in his response:
(כד)
בְּנוּ לָכֶם עָרִים לְטַפְּכֶם וּגְדֵרֹת לְצֹנַאֲכֶם וְהַיֹּצֵא מִפִּיכֶם
תַּעֲשׂוּ:
All you had said is fine. Build
cities for your children, and build pens for your sheep, and do all
you said you would do.
And Rashi notes that Moshe, even while repeating that which Bnei
Gad & Reuven said to him, flips the order. He puts the children first and the animals
second. Why? Because he was bothered by the priorities of
the Bnei Gad & Bnei Reuven. So, says
Moshe, in his response:
אמר להם משה לא כן עשו, העיקר עיקר והטפל טפל,
Not so fast. Even as you
will do what you have said, make sure to keep that which is primary
primary, and that which is secondary, secondary.
Take care of your children and your families, and THEN take care of
your livestock.
As Stephen Covey writes, “The main thing is to keep the main
thing the main thing.”
Rav Henoch Lebowitz, the Rosh Yeshiva of Chafetz Chaim in his sefer
Chidushei Lev asks a simple question: Was this
really the mistake of the leaders of the tribes of Gad & Reuven? These are the representatives of the
community. They are coming to offer a
delicate plan to Moshe Rabbeinu. Is it really believable that they
wouldn’t be more careful in how they presented the plan to Moshe Rabbeinu? Did these individuals who had spent the
last 40 years in the desert learning at Moshe Rabbeinu’s feet really put their
sheep before their children?
And he gives a beautiful answer:
Of course, the Bnei Gad & Reuven had the right priorities. Their primary focus was on building
their community, raising their children to be yirei shamayim, to be Bnei
Torah. But, of course, raising a frum
family, building a Torah community is expensive. And without the finances to pay for the life
they were building, they wouldn’t be able to make those dreams come to
fruition.
So what happened? These
individuals had to invest themselves so much in their work in order to pay for
the yeshivos, the shuls, the infrastructure of their community. They spent so many of their waking hours
involved in making a living. And whenever we invest our time and energy so much
in something, you become drawn to it, you become more invested, and your
mind becomes enveloped by it.
The Sefer HaChinuch tells us this is true when it comes to mitzvos. As he writes in many places, “Acharei
HaPeulos Nimshachim HaLevavos”. The more we involve ourselves in Torah and Mitzvos,
the more it becomes a part of us. And if
it’s true with Torah, it can be true with any endeavor, including the world of
finances and money. And when that
happens, over time slowly we forget which one is the means and which one is the
ends. It doesn’t happen on purpose. It happens naturally.
In fact, that’s the reason why the Bnei Gad & Bnei Reuven
included their children in the conversation in the first place! Why did they talk about their cattle and
their children? Just say, we’ll build
pens for our livestock and build cities. Why mention the children? Because the cattle was only there in order to
provide for their children. And they,
themselves knew that! It’s just that
they had slowly become so invested in the financial side of providing for their
families that they had begun to put their priorities out of order.
So, Moshe Rabbeinu, while agreeing with their approach in general, offers
them a little reminder. “Chevra, I see
what’s happening here. I know that
fundamentally your priorities are correct, but I’m hearing in your presentation
that you are starting to forget what is what.
Remember to keep the ikar ikar, and the tafel tafel. Remember why you’re doing all of this in the
first place. Remember to keep the main
thing the main thing!
“As you are preparing to embark on this new project”, says Moshe, “take
a moment to stop. A moment to pause and remind yourselves WHY you’re doing all
of this. Remind yourselves that money is
NOT a value. It is that which helps us to support those things that are truly
our values”.
And why was Moshe Rabbeinu so adamant to deliver this message to
Bnei Gad & Reuven? Why is it so
important to take time here and there to RESTATE our values? To keep the Main Thing the Main Thing?
Because RESTATING our values and how we relate to money protects
us from GETTING LOST IN IT.
Because when Money IS a VALUE, there is no end to its pursuit. As chazal write in Pirkei Avos, “Oheiv Kesef
Lo Yisba Kesef”, “One who loves money will never be satisfied by it”.
But when we remember money is just a tool to help us accomplish our
real goals – raising families and cultivating a community built on the values
of Torah, Mitzvos, and Avodas Hashem – then money as a value in and of itself takes
a backseat.
We all live in a world that is becoming more expensive by the
day. Money is the issue of the day
wherever we turn, both in the secular world, and, unfortunately, in the frum
world as well. No matter your hashkafa,
keeping up with the Jones’ is an issue in almost every frum community in the
world.
And it’s not surprising that it would happen in the frum
world. Living a frum life is
extraordinarily expensive, and so it asks of us to be more involved in the
world of money so that we can live that life.
And so, the cycle begins. We have
to make more money, so we pay more attention to it, and so we become pulled
into a society that has an unhealthy focus on money and things, all to support
our families and a community that stands for the values of Torah which does NOT
believe in money and things as a value in and of themselves.
So, what are we to do? What
does Hashem want from us?
The parsha begins discussing the laws of vows, and it tells us
“K’chol hayotzei mipiv yaaseh”, everything that leaves your mouth you should
do.
And Rav Gavriel Zev Margolis, in his sefer Toras Gavriel,
points out that the language of “K’chol” is funny in this context. The Torah is trying to drive home the point
that one should do exactly what we take a neder to do. If that’s true, then the Torah should say “Kol
HaYotzei MiPiv Yaaseh.” DO EVERYTHING, EXACTLY what you said, that’s what you
should do! “K’chol” is translated as
“similar to, close to”, which implies that somehow you don’t have an obligation
to do ALL you have promised!? How could
that be?
And he explains that the Torah understands human psychology. Of course, the HKBH expects us to fulfill our
nedarim. However, He also recognizes
that nedarim, and really anytime we take on something new, comes out of an
emotional experience. We have certain
experiences that awaken a passion, a desire to grow, so we accept something new
upon ourselves.
And then what happens? Over
time that inspiration fades, the intensity isn’t there, and we are challenged
to continue to push forward anyhow. And
at that moment we have a choice: We can
let go of what we had set out to do, or we can say, I know I don’t have the
same level of inspiration and intensity, but I can still tap into that initial
feeling by continuing to push forward day after day.
It may not be KOL, but it can be K’CHOL, it can be a fulfillment of
what I set out to do, even if it’s not with all the same exact fire and
passion. Even if it’s not perfect.
The good news is that like the Bnei Gad & Bnei Reuven, we have
the right values. We know what really
matters. It’s just a matter of taking
the time – every once in a while – to remind ourselves what we’re doing all
this for. It does have to be perfect, or
solve the whole problem. But even “k’chol”
is worthwhile.
Maybe that’s with a sign on the wall of your office or maybe it’s
taking upon ourselves to do something to focus more on our Avodas Hashem, some
way of helping ourselves not to lose focus.
To remind ourselves that we will find so much more meaning in our lives
when we remember to Keep the Main Thing the Main Thing.